New Year Superstitions: which one is for you!

I've heard some pretty crazy New Year's superstitions. 
Have you heard the superstition that says not to do the wash on New Years Day, because then a relative will be washed away within a few months (in other words die)?
You must know the superstition that says the first person who walks into your home after the stroke of midnight on New Years will be the most influential person of that year to you!  Or perhaps my favorite: the superstition that tells us to open all of the windows and doors in our homes to let the old year out.
Perhaps some of you will be sage brushing at the stroke of midnight.  Sage brushing is burning the sage plant to smoke out bad spirits from a room or area.  I know that many of you will kiss your lover to guarantee another year together.  Reality is it is very superstitiously important to spend time on the eve and day of the New Year with your most loved people.  On the other hand, superstition also tells us to carve out some time for work on New Years Day, as it guarentees prosperity for the New Year. 
My friend Xavier says that every year at the stroke of midnight he takes all of the cash in his pocket and gives it a big wet kiss!  According to Xavier, every year since doing this routine, he's become more prosperous.  He's aquired more property and gotten more job opportunities.  His superstition has worked for him. 
Have your superstitions worked for you?  If you don't have a superstition already then get one!! Try it out - what could go wrong?  Just dont break a mirror!

Get Some Gratitude with Trista Sutter's Happily Ever After

We first met Trista Rehn a decade ago when she was a contestant on ABC's then-newest reality show - the Bachelor. Unfortunately, the Bachelor (Alex Michel) did not give Trista that final red rose and she left the show in tears. "I had gone to LA for an adventure and ended up with a broken heart" she writes of the experience.
Though, fate would have much greater things in store for her. She received a phone call from the show's producers pitching her a spinoff show - with her as the Bachelorette, handing out red roses to men vying for her love.
One of those contestants was Ryan Sutter, a similarly down-to-earth firefighter from Colorodo. Trista felt an instant connection with Ryan and eventually gave him the final rose. Trista and Ryan famously tied the knot on TV and the rest is history.
Still married (and now a Sutter) and a mom of two young children, Trista offers inspiration and insight to readers through her book, "Happily Ever After: the life-changing power of a greatful heart."
Trista writes the book like a friend giving a girls-night-out night-worth of great advice. Just as friends do, Trista gets personal with readers including stories about her problems with infertility and backstabbing co-workers (who seem to be extra ruthless in the entertainment business).
Throughout the book, Trista sprinkles quotes from some very inspiring people, including Ghandi, Mother Teresa and even DJ Run DMC. Trista tells readers she keeps a journal of her favorite quotes and when a new quote crosses  her path she jots it down in the book.
When Trista announced she was writing the book to her family and friends they embraced the idea and gave her tons of insight into thier reasons for gratitude and appreciation. One particularly touching annecdote tells of her friend who goes into her son's room each night at bedtime and counts thier blessings using the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling (one blessing to be said on each star).
Even after celebrity and fame, Trista has remained down to earth. She has the same hopes fears and desires as readers. She reminds readers to tell loved ones, "I appreciate you". She shares her beliefs on the universe offering us possibilities and destiny.
This is a wonderful book of advice and for getting to know Trista Sutter and ger family a little more. I would say definitely pick up a copy and send Trista a message telling her your #favpartofday on Twitter. Read the book and you will understand!

Mystery Michigan Student Spreads Message of Action

A high school in Canton, Michigan recently held a ceremony to induct some of its brightest students into the National Honor Society. One student (whose identity remains a mystery to us thus far) was chosen to represent his class by delivering a speech that turned out to be so touching, moving, and poignant that I've written this post to share the information with you. This speech was simple - not at all complicated in its message and yet it is so true that we have no choice but to accept its message and pay it forward. Spread the word!

This message was passed on by a father who attended the ceremony who called his sister in New York (who is my friend) who told me. Quite a game of telephone tag! However the POINT hasnt been lost in translation.

The message is:
Keeping up on your studies is important. Having a good academic record will help you along in life but more important is your involvement in other activities.  How do you stay involved in your community? Are you an active participant in your life and community?

We all have great ideas that we believe could change the world. We have ideas to help society or to help ourselves get rich or to help our friends become successful.  These great thoughts translate into the words that we speak. "I'm going to cure cancer" and "I'm going to make a million dollars" and "I'm going to make a difference" we say.

Once we get the idea and we say the words - we need to walk the walk. We need to show we are serious by the actions we take.  "I'm going to make a million dollars but first I need a good job that pays that type of money."

The actions we take are what builds our character. If we do nothing we've said we are going to do then we are bullshiters. If we do make that million dollars by working our way to the top then we are strong characters with great work ethic.

Our character is what will create our legacy.  Our character will be what we are known by to our children and grandchildren. "You got your great work ethic from your grandpa Fred" they will say.

To my friend that passed this speech along to me the message is "to be all that you can be". I agree. I think the message is that we should strive to be known by the good things we do. Our intellegence needs to be put to good use. Or even more so, our intellence needs to be used - it needs to be acted upon.

This mystery student in Michigan likely didn't realize his ideas would be pondered all the way here in New York. I hope he takes the wonderful words he used that day and acts upon them to create a character and legacy to fit a true visionary - which through the right actions he will surely become.

Christmas Tidings from London to Long Island

Annabella (my daughter who is pictured above) received a wonderful gift this Christmas from her godfather, Ian who lives all the way in London, England. 
It was on the night of Christmas Eve that we heard a knock at the door.  We rose from our seats at the kitchen table and went to see what was going on outside.  I opened the door and saw three brown packages, delivered by Fed Ex.  We peeled the tape on the largest box and revealed a royal blue bag with something inside. It was the pretty pink princess house pictured above!! A palace for modern day princesses!
I thought, who could this be from?  Low and behold it was a Christmas gift sent all the way from London, England to my daughter on Long Island.  Ian wanted to be sure that Annabella knew he was thinking of her on the first Christmas of his godfather-hood so he went on the computer and picked out a gift to send her.
We are so lucky to live in a time where we can stay in touch with the people we love over the holidays or at any time.  Whether through the computer or a letter or visiting these people by way of a jet plane - it is wonderful that we can stay so connected. 

Have Fun, Connect and the Rest will Come

Today I received some words of encouragement from one of my favorite authors, Jillian Lauren.  I'm truly beaming like a movie star at the Academy Awards over this correspondance. 
As an author, Jillian Lauren is very inspirational to me.  She has an amazing life story which she wrote into a best-selling memoir, Some Girls: My Life in a Harem.  She also authored a beautifully written fiction story, Pretty.
I have been following Jillian ever since Some Girls came out and last week I finally felt the need to tell her how amazing her story was and how she continues to be an inspiration to me.
In the e-mail I also told her a little bit about my story: having everything, losing everything, being a single mom, being an aspiring writer, being a former journalist, eating disorders, panic disorders and everything in between.  I also mentioned this blog seeking out some advice because Jillian also maintains a very popular blog about motherhood and life in general. 
Apparently she read my e-mail (all few thousand words - lol) and had some words of encouragement for me when she was done... 
In regard to my pipe dream (this blog) she told me to have fun, connect with people and the rest will just come.  I think this easy, free, real, raw statement is true for everything in life.  All we need to do is have fun, connect with the people we love and everything else in the world will come. 
Today I'm taking this statement as my mantra.  As long as I'm having a good time and making the connections I need to make, good things will happen. 
Thank you, Jillian!  You continue to inspire!

To-Day To-Do

To-day I choose To-do. 

My life has become like a strawberry-banana-kiwi smoothie at Jamba Juice.  The days blend into one another like fruit and cream and I'm left with nothing but the sweet aftertaste of a week gone-by. 

I can't help but wonder what happens to these days that we happily throw into the blender!  I'm talking about the days we spend in our pajamas.  The days we don't brush our teeth.  The days we choose to watch an all-day Law and Order SVU marathon.  The days we say "I'll do that tomorrow".  These "smoothie" days seem to happen more often than I would like. 
It is already December 16 - half a month has gone by.  I open my calendar and take a look back on the two weeks I've had to progress and change and move forward in this last month of 2013.  What do I find? Nothing.  Blank space.  No doctor's appointments scribbled in the margins of my calendar.  No playdates penciled in with Jillian and Dylan.  Nada.
All 16 days go into the blender to create one very creamy smoothy! 
I've wasted these days not only because I spent many of them in my pajamas but also because I'm not accountable to myself.  I have no record of what I've done so there is no way I can track my progress, change and forward movement.  Even the smallest accomplishments of a day can be measured throughout the month to make progress.  For example one job application a day for 16 days is nearly a dozen and a half job opportunities sought in the course of a month.   
To-day I chose To-do.  I have written each accomplishment of today down so that I can track my progress in January.  I have one month to see how far I've come.  Already checked off for today: car cleaned, four doctor's appointments made, playdate set.  It feels great to put those actions down on a list and say "I did that today." 
Next on the agenda - a ice cold Bahama Mama smoothie from Tropical Smoothie cafe.  For some reason I'm craving blended ice, cream and fruit.    

The Pursuit of Happiness

The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_happiness.html#UEsqrmRO8P5USsJ7.99

The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_happiness.html#UEsqrmRO8P5USsJ7.99

Benjamin Franklin said, "the Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness.  You have to catch it yourself." 

The truth is, happiness needs to be pursued constantly because once its caught it gets thrown right back. 

I find that the mood I wake up in does not have to be the way I feel for the entire day.  If I wake up sad, I certainly don't have to stay that way.  I could make my daughter laugh (that certainly puts a smile on both of our faces). Or I could go for a walk.  Or make a hot breakfast. 

And if I wake up happy - for whatever reason - I may not neccessarily be happy for the entire day.  Something could take the wind from my sails.  An overdue bill (ugh, the worst).  An unwanted phone call.  An unfullfilled expectation.  Whatever the cause.  Happiness needs to be maintained throughout the day.

Happiness needs to be pursued like an owner looking for their lost dog.  Smiles and laughter need to be hunted like a lioness hunts her prey.  If I don't hunt for and seek momentary bits of happiness throughout the day, I'm left with the moods that others provide for me.  An angry customer service representative from Verizon - anger.  A sad commercial about abused puppies on tv - saddness.  A bitter barista at starbucks.  A melancholy teller at the bank.  A middle-finger wielding driver on the road.  Depressed, depressed, depressed!!

Just smile!  When someone gives you a reason to cry today, smile instead.  Just like anger and sadness, happiness is contagious too!  So laugh at every joke and smile at every middle-finger wielding maniac on the road today.  It is your right to pursue happiness - so go do it!

 

RIP Nelson Mandela

Words Like Freedom
by Langston Hughes

There are words like Freedom
Sweet and wonderful to say.
On my heartstrings freedom sings
All day everyday.

There are words like Liberty
That almost make me cry.
If you had known what I know
You would know why.”


Rest in Peace, Nelson Mandela. 

I remember first hearing of you when I was in fifth grade or so.  I was so young then.  I couldn't understand the gravity of the words our teachers used to describe you: courageous, educated, hope, love, freedom, liberty, and progression. 

I couldn't grasp the impact you had made on the world.  I didn't yet see that you were a visionary teaching humankind a huge lesson - that it is our duty to stand up for what is right and just.   

We were told that you had spent nearly three decades in prison, fighting to end apartheid.  But I had barely been alive for one decade so I couldn't comprehend what all of that time would have felt like - unjustly incarcerated.  The long endless days without your wife and children.  A dwindling but always present hope of a freedom that would take so long to come.  I didn't realize the private agony you must have felt when you found out your mother and 25-year-old son had both passed during the years you were in custody.

We learned about apartheid.  We were taught that whites and blacks were not equal in South Africa.  It was a hard pill for our young minds to swallow.  We simply couldn't believe that there was still a place on earth so racist and unjust - hadn't Abraham Lincoln taken care of all of that with the Civil War? 

I was too young to fathom that racism was still alive.  I was too naive to really get that you and your associates were working tirelessly over decades to end the cruel reign of bigotry that had rooted itself in your beautiful country since before even you were my age. At the time I lacked the understanding that the fight was over in 1994 when you won the South African Presidency.  That year, my classmates and I had unknowingly witnessed one of the greatest moments in history - your election.  Though, at the time I was just a young woman who thought that some "old man" had become President somewhere in "southern" Africa. 

Your vision, ideals and eternal love will be missed here on earth.

Below is an excerpt from the Freedom Charter, which was written by the original "Congress of the People" who were later disbanded.  This charter became a symbolic beacon for what Mandela and his associates would later accomplish:
"We, the people of South Africa, declare for all our country and the world to know;
That South Africa belongs to all who live in it, black and white, and that no goverment can justly claim authority unless it is based on the will of the people;
That our people have been robbed of their birthright to land, liberty and peace by a form of government founded on injustice and inequality;
That our country will never be prosperous or free until all our people live in brotherhood, enjoying equal rights and opportunities. 

Christmas for the Broke Santa Claus

Just when we think we're about to make ends meet somebody goes ahead and mentions that Christmas is around the corner.  That's what happened to me this morning when I heard Mariah Carey's salute to the rich man's holiday with "All I Want for Christmas is You" - Mariah, I'm sure that's not really ALL you want.  You want the fairytale Christmas - the handbag, the earings, the perfume all wrapped neatly in a bow, nestled comfortably in a heap of cotton snow under the tree.
This year we need to stretch our dollars and we need to do more with less.  But can Christmas be done on a budget without whispers of "Scrooge" or "Grinch" forever becoming attached to our name?  I believe so because, after all, its the "thought that counts".  As long as we are thinking of our friends and family this year, our presents will please but our presence will surely be the greatest gift.  Here are some ideas for gifts that are more about consideration and less about cold hard cash:
1) Knit Something!
This year I've decided to crochet everybody a scarf for Christmas. Michaels (www.michaels.com )and AC Moore (www.acmoore.com ) have sales throughout the year on yarn and Savers (www.savers.com) often has 8-lb spools for less than a dollar.  The crochet hook (I use a J) is less than two dollars. The hardest part is finding the time to do it so I bring yarn with me everywhere and whenever there is a long line I take out my crochet hook and get to work.  Anybody can do it - Youtube has a multitude of videos on how. 
2) Coupons
When I was young and broke I used to make "Coupon Books" full of free hugs, assistance with making dinner, foot massages and etc.  This year I'm bringing back the childhood trick with coupons for a romantic dinner for two (that I make), a back massage, bringing in the groceries, bringing out the garbage, movie night and etc.  Create your own "gift certificate" on www.vistaprint.com for starting at $5.99.
3) Look for Deals Starting Yesterday!!
Just before Christmas lots of stores put inventory on clearance to make room for holiday goods - take advantage of these sales by stocking up on whatever seems like a good deal.  The idea is to start a "store" in your house and after you've aquired a bunch of different items you can begin figuring out who is going to get what.  I've done this with a few different stores in the area.  Barnes and Noble (www.barnesandnoble.com) had a huge clearance sale and was getting rid of luxury candles for a dollar so I bought every candle that was in good condition and I've had them at my house for nearly a month now. 
4) Serenade with your Talent
If you are a singer Serenade with a personal song.  If you are a poet serenade with a beautiful poem.  If you are an artist draw a picture.  And the list goes on.  The gift's recipient will feel honored that you've thought to share your talent with them. 
5) Quote
Google a bunch of different quotes and find one that suits the person you need to get a gift for.  Write out the quote neatly and beautifully either on a large canvas or on a small peice of paper so they can carry it in their pocket.  Make the presentation beautiful and shocking - this gift will keep on giving and keep the recipient thinking of you whenever they see it. 
6) Second Hand Gifting
I would have never thought to find a Christmas gift at a yard sale or thrift store - but now I think, "why the heck not"?  We pay top dollar for fine antiques and vintage items.  We would not think twice about wrapping up "depression glass" plates and giving them as a Christmas gift - so why not find a gently-used tennis racket and do the same?  Culture tells us we need new and never used - this year lets turn that ideal on its head.  Go out and find an apron for mom, a box of dress-up cloths for your niece, a watch for dad. 
If you're on Long Island check out one of the area's most noted thrift shop establishments, Selden Thrift at 614 Middle Country Road in Selden.